Yes ... the rumour is true I am back.

So it has been ages since I posted. It was back in June. Now it is October. Holy Shit! October? Really? Where did the summer go? I took some time away from SL and focused on my RL priorities. I had a great time. I travelled a lot, mostly to yoga and meditation retreats. Yeah .. I know .. but come on ... it is my thing.

Chester spent his time dismantling the Feed Your Head Sims. I am still not sure exactly why he did this but that is his way. No one knows the mind of Chester, certainly not Chester.

While I was off in real life learning to levitate and put my legs in interesting positions Esmiel got busy fixing up our home sim, The Enchanted Forest. If you haven't been there yet I highly recommend a visit. It is amazing.

Right now Es and Chess are working on a new project with a bunch of other folks on what was the March Hare Sim. I am sure at some point it will be renamed and stuff but keep an eye out for news on what is happening. It should be fun.

Speaking of fun stuff have you been shopping at Magic Wand on Adiago Island? Celty and Jamie have some really great stuff there like a Harry Potter-like Flue Transporter. He also has the best magic wands in all of SL.

More later ... really! I mean it! ...and not much later like months and months. ... at most a week. well maybe a fortnight (that is two weeks). ...most likely sooner. Don't Judge Me!

Namastè

Finn

p.s. buster

Living Smaller Part 2.

As you may know, if you had read my last posting I have been clearing out my life of the things holding me back or down. In the past two weeks I have thrown out, recycled and given away about five vans worth of stuff. It is a great feeling to finally let go of things I have been holding onto for so many years. I might need it one day or I will get back into this sometime was always my excuse. Really I discovered I was holding on to things as I identified myself with them. They were part of my ego. Things I felt I needed to prove to myself and others that I was worth something.

I no longer need to identify myself with stuff. All that I am is within me. This of course is not 100% true for me yet as I still identify myself with exterior things and past karma. I think the only time it will become 100% is when I reach a state of samadhi or enlightenment. I used to think it was really important to become enlightened but that was ego. I wanted people to see me as enlightened. Now I realize the important thing is to live a good, happy life free from judgement.

With the closing of one of my SL businesses, The Wharf, I learned a lot about myself and where I was. When I closed the business I did it very suddenly and with no notice. This understandably upset a few people. I was accused of putting money before friendship and my business partner Chester was subjected to extremely violent language from one of our employees. I do not regret closing the wharf or doing it so suddenly. It is what I needed to do for me. I was very upset by the reaction of a few people. I felt it was uncalled for and unnecessary. I have thought on it for a few days and I have come to the realization that these people were just acting from where they are and from their own perspective. Would I prefer that they maybe took the time to enquire as to my reasons? Yes, It is what I would expect of friends. It would have made their anger more digestible. But realistically I don't know if anyone who jumps into an attack and accuses me of putting money over friendship was ever my friend. My reasons for closing the Wharf are my own. Was the cost of operating it part of the consideration part of it? Yes, but not the first consideration. If it were The Wharf would have been shut down months ago.

The Wharf no longer served me. I no longer needed it and I felt it no longer needed me. I was planning on handing it off long before the opportunity came up to sell off the two regions came up. I knew it was the right thing to do when the offer to sell the regions came up. They were a huge burden. Neither Chess nor I had it in us to develop another region after finishing the FYH regions. We made a start but it just wasn't in us. We had moved on. The regions were sitting there empty except the Wharf in one corner. The wharf where it was was only going to be temporary anyway. We had plans to bring a gathering spot into the new builds somehow but were not sure exactly what to do. Neither of us were much interested in running a club anymore. We just wanted our times in-world to be fun and stress free. After a few talks we decided to hand the club off to our manager Dehryyn. The club though a financial disaster was a big hit among its loyal regulars and was worth keeping going was the thought. But then things changed and changed quickly as they do in second life. During the last set on Sunday someone made me an offer and I accepted as I knew it was the right thing to do rather than let my frustration with the wharf grow. And although I shut down the location I did not shut down the wharf. Chester and I gave the group to Dehryyn as well as as much of the club equipment as was transferable in hopes that he would continue it on in a new location.

I did not expect any accolades or any thank you notes, though I did receive a few from people thanking Chester and me for starting the Wharf and keeping it running for as long as we did. But I did not expect the hostility that Chester and I received from some people. It was interesting though I found at first I was completely detached from the anger and felt no need to react to it or defend myself. It wasn't until Chester told me of the encounter he had via IM with one of the members that I felt any negative emotion at all. I guess it was the violence implied in the language that upset me and that it was directed at Chester by someone we both thought of as a friend.

After thinking on it for a while I realize that it doesn't matter. These people were only our friends, it seems as long as it served them and when we no longer served them we were disposable like the Wharf was to me. Do I harbour resentment to them? Honestly, yes, even though I know I should let it go. Surprisingly to me I do not regret the loss of the friendship. I realize that the friendship wasn't really there to begin with so nothing was lost just a perception altered.

So, um ... oh yeah my point. Not only am I shedding material and other things that no longer serve a purpose in my life I am shedding illusions. Illusions of friendship, needs and identity. I no longer need these things. Just like now I have put this into words I no longer have need of my disappointment, anger and judgement.

Finally I am glad that I passed the Wharf on to Dehryyn. He was invaluable as manager and I know under his leadership the group will grow and thrive.

Namastè

Finn

Oh .. I almost forgot ... Buster

Living Smaller

The summer is now pretty much here and after months of the winter blues (okay clinical depression but the winter blues is more poetic) I am coming back to a feeling of lightness. I spent two weeks away from internets and telephones while I practiced yoga and meditated twice a day. I returned home to find that my landscaping was not proceeding on schedule and thought the blasting was complete the removal of the tonnes of rock and other assorted debris was not. It was no big deal, stuff like that happens. One of the consequences of this however was that during the day they contractors had to disconnect the water, power, phone and cable. At first I felt very inconvenienced but after a few minutes I realized that I could use the time to do things I had never done because my attention was drawn elsewhere.

I first started with organizing my books. It had always seem like a monumental and monumentally boring task so I put it off endlessly. But once I got started doing it it became a very interesting practice. I spent a fair bit of time deciding how to put what type of books where. It took several hours and many trips up and down stairs but I eventually got them sorted and shelved. The amazing thing was that I had at two or more copies of some books.It really goes to show how worthwhile it is to live an organized life.

My next project was my desk and office. They have become so cluttered but I could not see the surface of my desk and the paperwork was in constant danger of becoming an avalanche. The rest of the room had little piles of paper, books and other assorted items stacked all around. It was a daunting task but once I started sorting through it all it became a cathartic exercise. I realized I was holding onto things in my life that had no meaning for me anymore. I had inherited my father's obsessive need to keep every cable, key, paper and miscellaneous bits just in case I might need them one day. I started with three piles, one things to keep, one things to throw away and one to give away or donate. As I worked through the room I noticed the pile of things to keep was miniscule in comparison to the other two. The other two piles were like symbols of the anxieties and pressures of life that are no longer needed to carry with me. It took me a couple of days but I sorted through reams of paperwork and piles of bits and doodads and finally my desktop was clean, my paperwork was filed, and my anxieties were greatly diminished.

I have continued this process of cleaning and reducing the clutter throughout the rest of my home. It is like symbolically ridding myself of everything that was holding me back and down. And even though I've had power, water, phone, and cable restored since Friday, I have still continued to purge all with all the clutter from my life and home.

It amazes me how much stuff I have managed collect and hang onto over the years that really has no meaning or purpose to me. I am making a point from now and into the future to only have sings with purpose and meaning in my home. Mies van der Rohe a famous architect once said "Have nothing in your home that is not useful or beautiful" or something like that. That is the ideal way to live. It is not just stuff it is weight upon your soul and psyche. What I mean is when you have so much around it is hard to clearly see the things that you treasure most. I'm not talking about minimalism or aestheticism, I am more referring to just living a simpler and smaller life and appreciating the things you treasure most and letting go of the rest both in your home and in your soul. Things that don't serve you anymore should be let go of and the things that do serve you should be treasured.

(added June 11) .....and of course .... Buster

Namasté

Finn

buster Naxos

This guy showed up in my life a while back and now I am addicted to him. He has an irrepressible charm and sense of humour and a very kind soul. When he hosts at the Wharf he brings the place alive with a dynamism no one else can. That is not to say that the other hosts are dull or anything, they are all great but buster brings a unique sense of lunacy and madcapness (I know, it is not a word). Last week I was doing a guest spot DJing at the Wharf and buster hosted for me. I loved working with him, he made the night fun. It is no wonder he took in three times ... yes three times as many tips as I did. 

He took sometime away from The Wharf last month for personal reasons and I found it just wasn't the same with him not there. I was so happy when he came back to work. My rl and sl husband Fuzzy feels the same. Buster is family and he belongs at the wharf. He is one of the reasons I love coming in world.

One other thing to know about buster is he is an amazing furniture designer. You should check out his stores .:BUSTED:. . He has one at the Wharf and some other locations.

Sitting back and watching the weirdos

Sometimes I just don't feel like dancing around like a puppet to an animation script. Which reminds me we really need to change out the dances on the dance barrel. they were picked way back in the days of Phucket Cove which is a business I would just as soon not have any memories of. Anyway, before I go off on that unpleasant tangent, back to my subject. I love, as my loyal readers know, the Wharf Rats. They are some of the coolest, weirdest, most fun loving people around. 

Some of them often show up dressed in the oddest costumes. there are some very obvious characters in this group. mtd1952 timeless is a classic example of a guy who loves to dress up and more frequently down. The other night he arrived at the Wharf dressed as a 17th fop having just come from a party celebrating Elton John's birthday. He was wearing a powdered wig that was about 5 times the size of his avatar. It was truly original and inspired. 

Dodgeguy Woodward was around at one point this week as the gigantic staypuff marshmallow man of Ghostbuster's fame.

And then the other night Sebastiaan and I were shape shifting through many shapes and sizes of avatars but my favourite one, pictured above, was the greenies alien. Greenies makes the coolest stuff. 

The inspiration of people never ceases to amaze me and some nights it is just fun to sit back and watch the parade. I think this has inspired me to have a costume contest one night. 

And back to Greenies ... I bought the coolest skybox from there. Once I get it all set up I will take some pictures and post them here. 

It isn't even gilded

I was visiting one of my sims today. Every time I go there is something new that catches my eye, like the bird cage. I felt safe as the canary was fleeing and not in a hurry to eat a little green faerie. If you haven't been to Greenies and the Rezzable sims then get there.

And if you haven't been to the Wharf recently, you haven't been to the Wharf. Get here too.

Esmiel Posthorn

I had the privilege of hosting the 'the made of awesomeness' Esmiel when he DJd at the Wharf on Friday at noon. He is really a great dj and plays great music. I have no idea why more people don't show up for his sets. Many great artists are not recognized and appreciated in their own lifetimes. Anyway, if you are in worlds on Fridays at noon and you don't come to hear him play then you are just punishing yourself, and not in a good fun way.

Divine Intervention

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Running on the Spot

Do you ever get the feeling like you are running and not getting anywhere?  I know I do. It is weird. The Wharf is a huge success but but our numbers are dropping. Fortunately for us, all the ones who come regularly are some of the best people in my sl experience. I am at a loss as to what to do to prevent more loss and also how to grow the business. Yes ... I am looking for ideas. We have have some awesome new stores and fun games for your entertainment and pleasure and hopefully profit.

What I would really like is some constructive ideas what we can do to make the wharf experience more fun for the regulars and also attract new regulars. If you have any suggestions, please leave a comment here or drop me a note card in world.

I spent most of the day in the dark recovering or trying to recover from a migraine. This was the worst one I have ever had EVER! As a result I was not in-world at most of the events at The Love Shack and Abduction. I always feel I am letting people down by not showing up but sometimes life gets in the way. 

The Most Serene Spot in Serenus

A while back, Chester built this spot on a whim and it is one of my favourite places on the grid. It is somewhere one one of our sims. I am not going to tell you where, you will have to find it for yourself. It is a great place to bring your trick, date, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife for a romantic get away. Make sure you have your sound on so you can hear the bird and waves etc. Find it and let me know what you think.

My New Career

So you may or may not know that I am not djing anymore. I don't really know how long I am taking a break from it for. It was getting to be to much like work and Wednesday is my busiest day of the week with out adding into it the djing. I was quite happy to step aside when Dehrynn found a new dj to take over for me. My new job is perfect for me. I am working as a mannequin for Chester's new store. I don't get paid but it just requires me to be motionless and not think, two things I excel at.

Plotting

Almost every night I ask Chester "What are we gonna do tonight, Brain? *NARF*" and he almost always responds, "What we do everynight Pinky. Plan to take over the grid." 

Obviously we fail in this every night in a comical cartoonish way. But we keep trying. *NARF*

Chester's further adventures in Wonderland?

I have seen a cat without a grin but a grin without a cat?

Once again Chester went down the rabbit hole. He always encounters the most interesting characters. It does make one wonder what sorts of hallucinogenic mushrooms he is eating. And why does he spend so much time standing on plywood? And really what is with those ears. Did he escape from Pleasure Island with Pinnochio before the transformation to donkey was completed.

I ain't no chicken.

I just stared the bad old puddy tat down. I have spent so much time in numerous different avatars lately I hardly remember my normal shape. This bad owl is one of my favourites. If you like him you can find it on SLStreet. Renn Yifu (no relation to Snippy) is the creator. He has some awesome avatars. I have a whole mess of his stuff.

I was dancing at the Love Shack this afternoon in my Boxie avatar and all of a sudden Esmi was dancing next to me in the same one and then Mike joined in. The both found it on SLstreet by inspecting me. It was very fun but I think we may have caused some people seizures, which is kind of funny, well not for them.

Partners meeting

So Chester requested we have a meeting yesterday. On the agenda was who exactly was in charge of our sims. the meeting didn't last long. Chester is a tough little elf and I am just glad he wasn't wearing stiletto heels (It wasn't a weekend). As usual I backed down and he got his way. So if you have any complaints or questions about the SRG you know who to go to.

SL FASHION ICONS Part 1

buster Naxos

I don't know or care much about fashion. But some people just stand out. Buster is one of them. he always seems to be dressed in something fun and outlandish but carries it off. It must be something to do with being french. 

buster is one of the great assets at the Wharf and other Serenus Venues. His sense of humour, wacky behaviour and sweet personality make sure everyone has a great time whether they want to or not. It is really easy to forgive him for his constant gaffs welcoming people to the Wharf when at Abduction or to the Love Shack while hosting at The Wharf. What would we do without him. He is quickly becoming one of my favourite people.

Buster performs regularly at the Wharf, Abduction and The Love Shack.

Always be sure you eat the right side of the mushroom

This is what happens when you eat from the wrong side of the mushroom while indoors. 

This gives me an idea for an entire region dedicated to Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass. ... Or maybe not. I don't know if I want to spend all my time as a bunny in a waist coat running around worrying about the time. It is bad enough as it is now. And i am not sure Esmi would agree to being the Queen of Hearts even though he could be ordering decapitations of everyone who displeased him. Can you see Kaj and Mal as Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum? Buster would be perfect as the Cheshire Cat. 

I could go on and on for minutes like this. I promise I won't. Maybe in the next post.

Curiouser and curiouser

[0:20]  Chester Howley: u dork

[0:21]  Finnegan Chesnokov: yeah

[0:22]  Chester Howley: this is rediculous

[0:22]  Finnegan Chesnokov: Yeah ... ain't it

[0:22]  Chester Howley: im a 23 year old participating in a virtual tea party -_-

[0:23]  Finnegan Chesnokov: I am a 43 year old doing the same

[0:23]  Chester Howley: we really are societies outcasts arent we

[0:23]  Finnegan Chesnokov: truly

[0:23]  Chester Howley: we're not fit to be around other people

[0:23]  Finnegan Chesnokov: if you click the teapot ... it will give you tea

[0:24]  Chester Howley sighs and clicks

[0:24]  Finnegan Chesnokov: I wonder who will blog this first

[0:24]  Chester Howley: i already have pictures

[0:25]  Finnegan Chesnokov: lol ... me too

[0:25]  Chester Howley: lol

Yeah ... see ... all the interesting stuff in sl goes on after you all go to bed. 

Stuff & Nonsense

Stuff

Well I must say I am starting to enjoy Second Life a bit more again. It all comes down to balancing my time. It seems kind of obvious but time moves by so quickly while you are waiting for some half wit to type out a coherent sentence. Sometimes I have noticed it takes about a quarter of an hour for some people to say hello ask ask how you are. I would like to credit them with perhaps being victims of the notorious SL chat lag but really deep down I am aware that they are just slow.

Oops ... I ranted. Back to my point. Second Life can take up a lot of your time if you don't pay attention to it. I have lost perhaps months of time in slow chats or waiting for someone to come back from being AFK (Away From Keyboard). I sit and wait politely for them to return while twiddling my thumbs. Now I think if some one goes AFK I will just get on with my life. I don't need to sit around and wait for things to happen. No more painfully slow IM conversations for me. If I am bored or otherwise not interested I am just gonna move on, log off or walk away.

Nonsense

For real nonsense you need to read Chester's blog. With every post he seems to find something even weirder (usually him) to photograph and post. I would post the link here but I am trying to keep my posts PG and his last picture ... well it just isn't right. Oh okay ... since you insist. 

http://chesterhowley.blogspot.com/

The Wharf on Wednesday

Okay ... Let's assume you know I DJ at The Wharf on Wednesday nights. And if you don't you are probably some bored random person reading this blog. This is how I prepare for my set. I open iTunes and drag tunes into a playlist until I have 3 or so hours worth in the right genre (alternative rock). Then I start looking through for the ones I want to base my set on. Then .. well here is the art .. I just play them in the order I pulled them with occasional changes I make during my set. 

Yeah .. I know, not very professional. The thing is, I am not a professional. I am just trying to have fun with my mates at the Wharf and to play music we all enjoy. And I try not to have anything really awful in my music library. Space on my hard drive is at a premium. 

I saw that Esmi is posting his playlists now. I delete mine as I go along so I have an idea of where I am at a glance as I confuse easily. Usually 20 minutes into my set I have no idea what the first couple of songs I played were. Most importantly that way I can't get lazy and just repeat myself.

I know that the other DJs make an art form out of their playlists and you can tell when they play. I watch my RL and SL partner Fuzzy work on his playlist for his Sunday set at The Love Shack until it is absolutely perfect. And I am sure Kaj, Dehr, Blaise and the rest put plenty of thought into their playlists. But they are true artists. The only reason I get away with playing at the Wharf is there is no one who can tell me I can't. One advantage of being an owner I guess. 

When I first thought about doing a set at the Wharf I thought about calling it "Random Crap from my iPod" and really I think I have stuck to that quite well. 

Misinterpretations

Have you ever had someone in SL or even RL completely misinterpret your actions or words. In SL I know it is difficult as there is no vocal inflections or facial expressions. Most people who know me know my fondness for dropping rocket scripts in any possible object and launching or trying to launch them into oblivion. It is just something I do and it has nothing to do with anything going on around me. Sometimes I get carried away with it and it annoys people and as soon I as I realize this or am made aware of it I stop. 

I received a note card from someone who I would have thought would have said something to me directly but instead chose to send me a note card the next day. I guess he stewed overnight about it. He said in his note that it really annoyed his BF as he had just arrived home from a stressful day at work. And then I was accused of using the rockets as a message that I no longer want the author of the note around. Gosh ... I was pretty befuddled by the anger in the note. First of all how am I supposed to know what is going on in some ones first life especially when it wasn't communicated to me.  And if I didn't want someone coming around anymore I would have either talked to them or if I really wanted to be passive aggressive banned them. 

I am the first to admit I get carried away with launching anything I can put the scripts into. Boots Mission unfortunately sat on one of my rocket cows and ended up launched into space (I haven't seen him since) when someone clicked on the cow randomly. And on occasion I do have a malicious streak which I try to tamp down when it comes to the surface, usually when someone really annoys the hell out of me. 

All this leads me to my point ... I have to be more careful and perhaps just sit quietly around people so I don't get them mad at me because they chose to see my words or actions in a negative way instead of me just being the bit of an ass that I can be when goofing around.

I guess I should go respond to that note card now.

Dehrynn

I was going to post on Dehrynn today but got side tracked by my previous post. Dehr is my lifeline when ever anything needs to be done or dealt with. He is always there to lend a hand and help out. I hate to ask for help, (who doesn't?) but when I need something done Dehr is always there, quite often he takes care of stuff without even being asked. He is a godsend. I don't think the Wharf Rats realize how much stiff Dehr does behind the scenes to make everything go smoothly. When I got home last night from my rl yoga workshop I was told by my spouse Fuzzy that Dehrynn helped him out on his first dj set with out me able to be next to him on the sofa trouble shooting.

I know that when I can't be there or am to busy to deal with a Wharf issue Dehr is always happy to step up. I don't really know how to show my appreciation for him. I just want him to know his help is not unnoticed and truly appreciated. He is a great friend and I probably am not worthy of him.

Reclaiming my first life.

It kind of sneaks up on you over time. The slow theft of your real life hours by the time spent in second life. It starts with being on later at night to hang with friends after events wind up at the Wharf and then you are later and later as you start to hang with your friends just waking up in Europe. And then the compulsion to log on when you wake up to deal with all the IMs you received when you are asleep (you never know when something maybe urgent lol) Soon you are in world in all your free time imagineering the venues, fixing things that have gone wrong or just never worked, chatting with people and fending off dozens of IMs about when the next event is and who is djing. 

In all of this Finnegan is winning out and my real life persona is fading into the background. I am really starting to miss me, the real me. I have decided that I need to spend more time in my real life and a fair bit less in my second life. I am excited to do this and regain my composure and tranquility. I will not be quitting or taking time off of SL, just spending more quality time in RL.

I hope that this will also allow me to enjoy my time inworld more. I was hanging at the Wharf on Friday and resenting having to be there and it continued on Saturday. I didn't have the sense just to log off and go read or sleep. I became aware I was acting very erratically on both evenings and quite possibly offended some people and some of them very close to me. I did apologize to them but it really made me question myself and look at how I was behaving. I didn't like the answers. 

DJ Easton

OMG ... This kid rocks! His music is great and he fits right in at the Wharf. Also he filled in for a missing DJ on 5 minutes notice with a great set. We totally scored by hiring him. You gotta come hear him play at the Wharf on Fridays, Landfall on Saturdays and ABDUCTION on Thursdays.

Chester Strikes Back.

Chester, showed his true dedication to the dark side tonight and played a multitude of ABBA songs at The Wharf. It proved two things, 1) He is evil beyond human comprehension and 2) He has no shame as a DJ. It is like being in business with a malevolent force who will lash out to destroy you just to see you suffer. I only survived by quickly muting the sound until the songs were over. i will really have to rethink my relationship with him. I never realized he could be so ruthless. I guess I should have expected it. I know what he is capable of, I just never thought he would turn against me like that.

Be warned, not only does he have teeth, claws, and the temper of a psychotic tasmanian devil, he also has an a dark evil plotting intellect like you only read about in horror novels. Hannibal Lecter is a pussy cat in comparison.

Chester

Quite possibly the all time greatest builder in all of the known universe. At least he thinks he is. Chessie is a good good friend. I like to keep him friendly because he scares me a lot and I see how he treats his enemies.

None of the things in the Serenus Sims would exist without him. He is a mad genius. More mad than genius but still genius. Shame he can't dress himself without his mum's help.

The Wharf

Okay so I am starting a blog. I don't know why. 

The Wharf is going so well. I had no idea when Chester and I came up with the idea for it that it would become such a huge success. A huge part of it is due to our awesome DJs. I think if we didn't have Kaj we would never have the great crowd we have. His personality, music and hot BF Mal are a huge draw. I am so honoured to have them as friends and members of the Wharf Family. 

I also am so grateful to Esmi, Hoaghes and  Dehrynn. These guys are awesome and always step up in a crisis and help out. I really could not get by without them. Our weekend crew Blaise and Fuzzy really are working out well too, with buster and his lunacy making the place fun. I am really looking forward to hearing the new guy Easton play. I really like his music.

Of course what would the place be with out the wharf rats to make it truly fun. 

Chester and I are not resting on our laurels. We have already opened up a few more venues, Landfall, The Love Shack and ABDUCTION. They are going really well. Now the hard work begins .. keeping things interesting. D: