Yes ... the rumour is true I am back.

So it has been ages since I posted. It was back in June. Now it is October. Holy Shit! October? Really? Where did the summer go? I took some time away from SL and focused on my RL priorities. I had a great time. I travelled a lot, mostly to yoga and meditation retreats. Yeah .. I know .. but come on ... it is my thing.

Chester spent his time dismantling the Feed Your Head Sims. I am still not sure exactly why he did this but that is his way. No one knows the mind of Chester, certainly not Chester.

While I was off in real life learning to levitate and put my legs in interesting positions Esmiel got busy fixing up our home sim, The Enchanted Forest. If you haven't been there yet I highly recommend a visit. It is amazing.

Right now Es and Chess are working on a new project with a bunch of other folks on what was the March Hare Sim. I am sure at some point it will be renamed and stuff but keep an eye out for news on what is happening. It should be fun.

Speaking of fun stuff have you been shopping at Magic Wand on Adiago Island? Celty and Jamie have some really great stuff there like a Harry Potter-like Flue Transporter. He also has the best magic wands in all of SL.

More later ... really! I mean it! ...and not much later like months and months. ... at most a week. well maybe a fortnight (that is two weeks). ...most likely sooner. Don't Judge Me!

Namastè

Finn

p.s. buster

Living Smaller Part 2.

As you may know, if you had read my last posting I have been clearing out my life of the things holding me back or down. In the past two weeks I have thrown out, recycled and given away about five vans worth of stuff. It is a great feeling to finally let go of things I have been holding onto for so many years. I might need it one day or I will get back into this sometime was always my excuse. Really I discovered I was holding on to things as I identified myself with them. They were part of my ego. Things I felt I needed to prove to myself and others that I was worth something.

I no longer need to identify myself with stuff. All that I am is within me. This of course is not 100% true for me yet as I still identify myself with exterior things and past karma. I think the only time it will become 100% is when I reach a state of samadhi or enlightenment. I used to think it was really important to become enlightened but that was ego. I wanted people to see me as enlightened. Now I realize the important thing is to live a good, happy life free from judgement.

With the closing of one of my SL businesses, The Wharf, I learned a lot about myself and where I was. When I closed the business I did it very suddenly and with no notice. This understandably upset a few people. I was accused of putting money before friendship and my business partner Chester was subjected to extremely violent language from one of our employees. I do not regret closing the wharf or doing it so suddenly. It is what I needed to do for me. I was very upset by the reaction of a few people. I felt it was uncalled for and unnecessary. I have thought on it for a few days and I have come to the realization that these people were just acting from where they are and from their own perspective. Would I prefer that they maybe took the time to enquire as to my reasons? Yes, It is what I would expect of friends. It would have made their anger more digestible. But realistically I don't know if anyone who jumps into an attack and accuses me of putting money over friendship was ever my friend. My reasons for closing the Wharf are my own. Was the cost of operating it part of the consideration part of it? Yes, but not the first consideration. If it were The Wharf would have been shut down months ago.

The Wharf no longer served me. I no longer needed it and I felt it no longer needed me. I was planning on handing it off long before the opportunity came up to sell off the two regions came up. I knew it was the right thing to do when the offer to sell the regions came up. They were a huge burden. Neither Chess nor I had it in us to develop another region after finishing the FYH regions. We made a start but it just wasn't in us. We had moved on. The regions were sitting there empty except the Wharf in one corner. The wharf where it was was only going to be temporary anyway. We had plans to bring a gathering spot into the new builds somehow but were not sure exactly what to do. Neither of us were much interested in running a club anymore. We just wanted our times in-world to be fun and stress free. After a few talks we decided to hand the club off to our manager Dehryyn. The club though a financial disaster was a big hit among its loyal regulars and was worth keeping going was the thought. But then things changed and changed quickly as they do in second life. During the last set on Sunday someone made me an offer and I accepted as I knew it was the right thing to do rather than let my frustration with the wharf grow. And although I shut down the location I did not shut down the wharf. Chester and I gave the group to Dehryyn as well as as much of the club equipment as was transferable in hopes that he would continue it on in a new location.

I did not expect any accolades or any thank you notes, though I did receive a few from people thanking Chester and me for starting the Wharf and keeping it running for as long as we did. But I did not expect the hostility that Chester and I received from some people. It was interesting though I found at first I was completely detached from the anger and felt no need to react to it or defend myself. It wasn't until Chester told me of the encounter he had via IM with one of the members that I felt any negative emotion at all. I guess it was the violence implied in the language that upset me and that it was directed at Chester by someone we both thought of as a friend.

After thinking on it for a while I realize that it doesn't matter. These people were only our friends, it seems as long as it served them and when we no longer served them we were disposable like the Wharf was to me. Do I harbour resentment to them? Honestly, yes, even though I know I should let it go. Surprisingly to me I do not regret the loss of the friendship. I realize that the friendship wasn't really there to begin with so nothing was lost just a perception altered.

So, um ... oh yeah my point. Not only am I shedding material and other things that no longer serve a purpose in my life I am shedding illusions. Illusions of friendship, needs and identity. I no longer need these things. Just like now I have put this into words I no longer have need of my disappointment, anger and judgement.

Finally I am glad that I passed the Wharf on to Dehryyn. He was invaluable as manager and I know under his leadership the group will grow and thrive.

Namastè

Finn

Oh .. I almost forgot ... Buster

Living Smaller

The summer is now pretty much here and after months of the winter blues (okay clinical depression but the winter blues is more poetic) I am coming back to a feeling of lightness. I spent two weeks away from internets and telephones while I practiced yoga and meditated twice a day. I returned home to find that my landscaping was not proceeding on schedule and thought the blasting was complete the removal of the tonnes of rock and other assorted debris was not. It was no big deal, stuff like that happens. One of the consequences of this however was that during the day they contractors had to disconnect the water, power, phone and cable. At first I felt very inconvenienced but after a few minutes I realized that I could use the time to do things I had never done because my attention was drawn elsewhere.

I first started with organizing my books. It had always seem like a monumental and monumentally boring task so I put it off endlessly. But once I got started doing it it became a very interesting practice. I spent a fair bit of time deciding how to put what type of books where. It took several hours and many trips up and down stairs but I eventually got them sorted and shelved. The amazing thing was that I had at two or more copies of some books.It really goes to show how worthwhile it is to live an organized life.

My next project was my desk and office. They have become so cluttered but I could not see the surface of my desk and the paperwork was in constant danger of becoming an avalanche. The rest of the room had little piles of paper, books and other assorted items stacked all around. It was a daunting task but once I started sorting through it all it became a cathartic exercise. I realized I was holding onto things in my life that had no meaning for me anymore. I had inherited my father's obsessive need to keep every cable, key, paper and miscellaneous bits just in case I might need them one day. I started with three piles, one things to keep, one things to throw away and one to give away or donate. As I worked through the room I noticed the pile of things to keep was miniscule in comparison to the other two. The other two piles were like symbols of the anxieties and pressures of life that are no longer needed to carry with me. It took me a couple of days but I sorted through reams of paperwork and piles of bits and doodads and finally my desktop was clean, my paperwork was filed, and my anxieties were greatly diminished.

I have continued this process of cleaning and reducing the clutter throughout the rest of my home. It is like symbolically ridding myself of everything that was holding me back and down. And even though I've had power, water, phone, and cable restored since Friday, I have still continued to purge all with all the clutter from my life and home.

It amazes me how much stuff I have managed collect and hang onto over the years that really has no meaning or purpose to me. I am making a point from now and into the future to only have sings with purpose and meaning in my home. Mies van der Rohe a famous architect once said "Have nothing in your home that is not useful or beautiful" or something like that. That is the ideal way to live. It is not just stuff it is weight upon your soul and psyche. What I mean is when you have so much around it is hard to clearly see the things that you treasure most. I'm not talking about minimalism or aestheticism, I am more referring to just living a simpler and smaller life and appreciating the things you treasure most and letting go of the rest both in your home and in your soul. Things that don't serve you anymore should be let go of and the things that do serve you should be treasured.

(added June 11) .....and of course .... Buster

Namasté

Finn

buster Naxos

This guy showed up in my life a while back and now I am addicted to him. He has an irrepressible charm and sense of humour and a very kind soul. When he hosts at the Wharf he brings the place alive with a dynamism no one else can. That is not to say that the other hosts are dull or anything, they are all great but buster brings a unique sense of lunacy and madcapness (I know, it is not a word). Last week I was doing a guest spot DJing at the Wharf and buster hosted for me. I loved working with him, he made the night fun. It is no wonder he took in three times ... yes three times as many tips as I did. 

He took sometime away from The Wharf last month for personal reasons and I found it just wasn't the same with him not there. I was so happy when he came back to work. My rl and sl husband Fuzzy feels the same. Buster is family and he belongs at the wharf. He is one of the reasons I love coming in world.

One other thing to know about buster is he is an amazing furniture designer. You should check out his stores .:BUSTED:. . He has one at the Wharf and some other locations.

Sitting back and watching the weirdos

Sometimes I just don't feel like dancing around like a puppet to an animation script. Which reminds me we really need to change out the dances on the dance barrel. they were picked way back in the days of Phucket Cove which is a business I would just as soon not have any memories of. Anyway, before I go off on that unpleasant tangent, back to my subject. I love, as my loyal readers know, the Wharf Rats. They are some of the coolest, weirdest, most fun loving people around. 

Some of them often show up dressed in the oddest costumes. there are some very obvious characters in this group. mtd1952 timeless is a classic example of a guy who loves to dress up and more frequently down. The other night he arrived at the Wharf dressed as a 17th fop having just come from a party celebrating Elton John's birthday. He was wearing a powdered wig that was about 5 times the size of his avatar. It was truly original and inspired. 

Dodgeguy Woodward was around at one point this week as the gigantic staypuff marshmallow man of Ghostbuster's fame.

And then the other night Sebastiaan and I were shape shifting through many shapes and sizes of avatars but my favourite one, pictured above, was the greenies alien. Greenies makes the coolest stuff. 

The inspiration of people never ceases to amaze me and some nights it is just fun to sit back and watch the parade. I think this has inspired me to have a costume contest one night. 

And back to Greenies ... I bought the coolest skybox from there. Once I get it all set up I will take some pictures and post them here. 

It isn't even gilded

I was visiting one of my sims today. Every time I go there is something new that catches my eye, like the bird cage. I felt safe as the canary was fleeing and not in a hurry to eat a little green faerie. If you haven't been to Greenies and the Rezzable sims then get there.

And if you haven't been to the Wharf recently, you haven't been to the Wharf. Get here too.

Esmiel Posthorn

I had the privilege of hosting the 'the made of awesomeness' Esmiel when he DJd at the Wharf on Friday at noon. He is really a great dj and plays great music. I have no idea why more people don't show up for his sets. Many great artists are not recognized and appreciated in their own lifetimes. Anyway, if you are in worlds on Fridays at noon and you don't come to hear him play then you are just punishing yourself, and not in a good fun way.